Live and Let Live!

            “When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted 
                                            or take them with gratitude.”
                                                                                           – Gilbert Keith Chesterton

It's that phase again.You want to pen down your thoughts but you are too lazy to formulate it or even type it,and you keep postponing it until you have many things to, but have no clue exactly what to pinpoint on! It's like hitting the gym for a couple of days with hard core workouts and then the laziness that creeps in slowly, makes you say "oh,i shall take a break today and go tomorrow" and when the next day dawns, you wonder "Hmmm, should i get a day's more rest?" and if you give in that easy, then you can very well say goodbye to your healthy lifestyle! In my case, to both...my writing and my workouts! :D
So here, before i get too detached from my thoughts and  my will to stay healthy...I shall forcibly pen down something long wanting a text-form and then drag myself down to shake off some extra calories! :)

From very young I remember my parents especially my dad teaching us not to take anyone or anything for granted. The lessons were quite strong enough to last me a lifetime. Even when i started writing, my Achan (dad) , who was, is and always be my biggest patron cum critic advised me to try cut down on first person speech, especially the word, " I ". The reason being that too many I's make one sound Narcissistic. I, for one, never realized how traumatizing it would be for a listener or a reader until one fine day I spent a whole evening with a girl who went on "I this... I that" that by the time we bid adieu, the day didn't seem as fine as it did before! Yet I learned a valuable lesson and cut down a whole lot on I's! :D
Now, something which disturbs me still is how everything and everybody is taken for granted by almost everybody! Be it any relationship- personal, family, at your work place, one always laments on how he or she is being taken for granted! Makes me wonder, are we taken for granted because we allow ourselves to be bullied? Will it make a difference if we stand up, and firmly say -"No thank you.I do not care less"? Or do we keep mum just to maintain peace and harmony?
One thing which always bothered me is how people,so called "friends" take you for granted. Because they know that you would be there for them any time they need you. But the moment you need them...Vamoose, it's so easy to disappear when needed ,right?! Or even worse, they are there but have no clue you need them! And of course of those lovely personalities who ask you to go out of the way to do things for them without hesitating to ponder for a moment if it is inconvenient for you but never the less expect it done! Well, this blog, can elaborate on minute little details of  "wonderful" people who have made others cringe before, and still shamelessly do so.... but I rather take a smart turn here without having to painfully recall and dwell in their loathing self indulgent acts!
I'm here to pen down a more serious "taking for Granted" issue. Taking Life for granted. It's sad to see how people ignorantly waste their time on earth! Be it by physical or emotional uselessness.
The other night we were startled by a big BAAAM at around 12.30a.m just to find a white swift ( the car! ) upside down right in front of our building. The first thought which ran to my mind is that "Oh my Gosh, some one might have died inside." I see some 20  something year old guys run from a car following behind, cry out loud and then someone squeezes through and crawls out from the window of the upturned vehicle. It took us minutes to realize that these guys had a late night out and were totally drunk. As usual a huge crowd gathered to see the drama. Once they found out that none of their buddies were fatally injured these fools began to laugh and hug each other all the while staggering about the main road. Initially we thought,Okay! They are just happy they got out alive! But as time lapsed and an ambulance sent back without casualties and a couple of sleepy policemen "sent" back "happy in their pockets", their frightened, saddened and shocked emotions confidently grew bolder, audacious, and irritatingly  boisterous! I guess, they had a "big" story for their friends the next day or even a very cocky face book status which fetched them a few more "likes" and "comments" of their 'near death experience'. SAD!
As the tow truck towed the car away and as they dispersed cheerfully in their friends' cars I felt angry and upset that they didn't and wouldn't realize how lucky and close they were!And how many out there, were begging for another chance to live...just to spend a few more precious moments with their loved ones. But cant ,as their time was up.
It took me back a few years ago, when I met Mr. and Mrs.K in the surgery ward. Like all sad stories, they were below poverty line and He was diagnosed with brain cancer, been on chemo and radiotherapy.To top it, he had a painful hernia and an urinary stone the size of a rock!!! And again,of course, like any poor man's story, had to have unexplained, uncorrected anaemia! Due to his falling blood counts further cancer treatment and possible surgeries were halted indefinitely! His wife seemed chattery and I got to know she was an orphan brought up in a convent who in her late 30s met the man of her dreams, and converted to his religion, changed her name. Being married so late and due to their financial crisis, she sadly stopped trying after one miscarriage. And you wouldn't believe what Mr.K told me. "I believe my good fortune is here because of my wife". My eyes nearly welled up. Here's a dying man with multiple problems, poverty being the least, and he genuinely believes he has good fortune! How many of us would have been lamenting with a common cold or a migraine?
Another story which haunts me dearly is of Mrs.O. A young woman, in her 30s ,she had been diagnosed with a severe heart condition years ago,which made her heart stop thrice before. She and her husband, a daily wages worker, adored and worshiped her physician who was the reason she was brought back alive not once, but thrice.They were even more obliged since they werent treated as "poor" but were given consideration all the time, being treated as equals over the years. But sadly, now, as if  her ailing condition wasn't bad enough, she had got a nasty infection and  gangrene on her leg, which the surgeon very ruthlessly and without tact told her she needed an amputation. I remember how aghast she was and the few hours I spent with her counselling that it was a must, if not she could even die! She finally agreed to do so, and was discharged. I went on leave for two weeks after that. Sometime later I heard she was re admitted for the surgery but she had some further heart abnormalities that were being taken care of. One fine day I get a call from her husband telling me she was no more. She died of a final heart failure but till the end she was happy. She had many a times asked about me and wished I were near her. He thanked us for our service and was grateful that the hospital let him go home for the funeral without paying a single note, trusting  that he'd pay the deducted bill on a later date.The tone of pure courage in that man's voice made me feel like an ant! The next day, he came to visit me and he had a packet in his hand. I could not accept his gift. But he was convinced that his late wife would be happy wherever she was, only if he gave it to me. He was brave when he told me about her last days, how she had lasted more than her given time, how the family was coping with the loss and again their everlasting gratitude to everyone who took care of her. I checked the packet when I reached home.Inside were some foreign soaps, sweets, and  pens. I remembered how he had mentioned that his son had gone looking for a job in the middle east to ease his father's difficulties and presumed that the boy was back before his mother had died. Here was a man and family larger than any of us! And then I remembered how on my third day visiting her on rounds, she took my hand and kissed it with her broken dry lips! Recalling that, i hopelessly began to cry like a fool.
Life! When will we stop taking it for granted? When will we stop taking our loved ones for granted? We are lucky to wake up to embrace a new day, everyday...but till when? Be grateful to Life. Be happy that you are a part of something, that there are people around you who loves you,who count on you. Be there for them! It is not easy  to not-complain, not to find fault...but try! In the end, you and I have only one Life...make it meaningful!
Stay Blessed and loved! :)

Yet another true story

Happened to come across  something I wrote way back in November 2001 or so!The writing is a decade old and hence has a funny teen outlook! :D But neverthe less this is something I always look back and feel happy about!

This is yet another story.A true story.It happened to me today...

Today,i woke up with little intention of going for golf.It was raining 'n' the very thought of getting my feet soaked in the dew 'n' rain water left on the ground made me a little more hesitant to go.I could spend that time to snuggle in my comfy bed,warm 'n' cozy...till afternoon?Afternoon!!Then, i changed my mind.I'd rather go for golf,get some exercise than to relish the morning sleep 'n' brood all day about starting out late!

So i got up 'n' went with my father...for another usual game of golf.Well..since i just started playing for a few months(6 to be precise),i practise with my instructor trying not to yell at me,'n' my caddy snickering behind!So today,he told me we would practise a little 'n' then go out on the course for a game.

The practise area is just behind the club house..to the side of the main course.We have got an 8 foot net to hit on.As i practised a few shots,my caddy noticed a "chera" (a rat snake) caught in between the net.The snake was the length of both my arms stretched horizontally,say 1 3/4 of a tee square(for all u engineering  friends of mine!)

It was beautiful.A glaze of dim yellow brown black dorsal view and a magnificent mixture of a bright-dull yellow for its ventral side.

The net was not a single one.It was folded thrice to hold the power of the golf ball hitting on it.As the snake tried to get out,it was only making it worse for itself.The more it struggled the more it got tangled.At first, i was in awe,looking at this beautiful reptile out so close.A second thought made me touch it.Man! It was just beautiful.A  little slithery ,a little cold but real smooth.

The next thought was to save the creature.But how? My instructor (i refer to him as uncle) broke a thin branch sharpened its end amd tried to get it out.But it was stuck.Then he tried to shake the net.The snake got panicky and struggled which worsened the situation.I asked my caddy whether there was a pair of scissors in the club house.So he ran and fetched it but when the scissors arrived,it was like,"poochakye aaru mani ketum?" (Who will bell the cat)

The caddy admitted he was dead scared of snakes while uncle would not give in to the admission.He stuck with the statement that he hated snakes.So ,with pleasure and a deep sense of doubt i agreed to do so.

It was caught at three places-head,neck 'n' lower body.(i know,a snake doesn't as such have a neck)! I took the scissors squatted down ready to jump up at any time.I could feel my hands shiver in cold 'n' in doubt.As i was cutting the lower part,uncle asked me to cut the head first.i didn't want to take the risk of cutting near the head,because if the snake was free to move its head ,it could attack anytime.But after a while, i had to cut the net near the head as the poor thing was choking to death.I was to be real gentle since , the net, made of synthetic wire, was deep inside the snake's skin and  to cut through it meant,getting to scissors in between the tight net 'n' body.If i made one wrong movement with no doubt it was dead.So with a praying mind 'n' a begging heart,i proceeded slowly and as gently as i could.I did it.The head was free with a good effort.Now,i was to be even more careful.With the head free,it was tougher.Uncle took a long pipe and held its head down.It was being choked again.Remembering the numerous episodes on snakes broadcasted on the national geographic and animal planet,i told him to hold the pipe near the snake's head.The snake would naturally opt putting its head into the dark pipe hole which would make it easy for me to cut more.But uncle was so jerky that the snake opted not.This species of snake isn't poisonous as such,but why take the chance of being bitten.A wild animal is a wild animal.It would attack to defend itself.

 

But by this time,there was a sense of understanding cropping up inside the snake.i don't know what?May be it was too tired to struggle or may be it realised we weren't harming it.It lay still as a rock,coiling the free end of its tail occasionally.Finally with the help of uncle 'n'the caddy who were holding the net up for me,i managed to cut it free from the net.

The snake was let loose.A few caddies from the course came running in, to see the commotion.I told my dad's caddy not to mention anything to him,or else he might scold me for being impulsive(not rashly,but lovingly...that would've  been even worse).

The snake free,coiled itself up ..lifted up its head and looked straight at me for a few minutes before it slittered back into the wilderness.I've never personally felt that feeling of total happiness and self satisfaction before.It was something real worth experiencing.I  don't really know whether the look was one filled with gratitude or not (for they say,cats 'n' snakes are the most ungrateful,next to man!)

As for uncle,he was having a time of his life teasing  the caddy for being such a scardy -cat and me for telling him that the snake would put its head in the pipe.Well,being a nature lover,a biology student(who had extra hours of tuition class where we had samples to identify different snakes by just observation,studying their modes of living, the anatomy,the external differences in scales 'n' shields,the different poison glands'n' the different antivenoms used) and  most of all a younger,I didn't want to spoil his moment when he laughed at me and asked,"Don't you know snakes cant see?They only hear  vibrations"

"Yes,uncle i know they feel the vibrations,but they do see.Its the hearing that they don't have", With a smile and each sentence softer than the former.

In the car,i give a detailed story with lots of expressions on my face to Achan (my dad),who smiled proudly at me and at home to my enthralled mother,who was absorbing each word of mine,with a broadening smile,looking at all my excitement.When i reached the last point,where the snake 'n' i had a minutes connection that was so deep that it could last a lifetime,my Amma smiled and said, "Now now! i do hope you wouldn't go marry that snake!"

There's one more victim-my sleeping sister whom i will haunt the rest of the day with. Till then i thought I'd get online and mail this to everyone i know.(even though i know some of you will curse me for making you read through all of this!)

But,all i have to say is,that if ever any one of you do get a chance to save another,please do! The pride,happiness and yet another emotion (i really cant  figure out what exactly,but trust me!its a great one.)  has layers to unfold out onto you.

All i 've to say,is that,this might be yet another story,yet another true story and it happened to me today.....

BUT ...

Its a story that will last with me for a  lifetime.

A time for every purpose under heaven

                                                                                                                 

                                     "  To everything - turn, turn, turn                                                 

                                                      There is a season - turn, turn, turn                                                           

                                    And a time for every purpose under heaven "

                                             

So here I am, sitting in the living room strewn with suitcases and boxes, sipping my tea wondering what is in store for me next? A whole month passed me by, without the slightest realization that in the next few weeks my Life is going to take a big swerve.I had a wonderful time at my sister's in march.It was my first international trip and going to the U.S where my sister and her family were expecting their next new member (little Niv) was such a joyful and exciting experience I could hardly wait for.And before I knew it, I'm back in Bangalore, sweating like a pig, trying to keep the heat away as far as possible!
Coming back to the strewn luggage...We are moving! As a child, I loved moving from house to house till we moved into our own Home.It gave me opportunities to discover my creative side, imagining my forts and castles, and also finding new "hiding" places where i could carry out all my mischievous 'operations' till my Mother or Sisters found me!I even used to wonder what it would be like to move into different houses every other week so as to cover all the houses that were available in one Life span (yes!I was a wild thinker! :D )Well, I guess it was fun for me as a child because I did not have to worry about the packing, moving and all the associated headaches!
And now my Hubby and I are moving for the first time as a couple! Seven months of blissful marital Life...these seven months have been everything I have dreamt of.To be married to my childhood sweetheart and my best friend, well a girl cannot ask for more! :)
The present apartment is a quaint little one in the heart of the city, catering to all our needs,be it groceries, clothing, shopping malls,eateries.You name it,we have it within, say 2km?! To be precise, we have been spoilt rotten!Vish wakes up and has to take 5 steps to reach his office, and I had to sit in a rick for 7minutes to reach the hospital!But of course being spoilt silly has a price to pay!and at the end of every month we look at each other sheepishly after our month's expenditure has been calculated and promise to be more careful the coming month!

Hmmm, I guess the new place is going to help us keep our wallets from being flattened atleast !;) A place well away from the hustle bustle of the city (I am so looking forward to a place where we can breathe without inhaling dust and carbon!) and I am told, it's quite a posh building which is well kept given the fact that its over 15 years old!And a 3 bedrooms apartment in the 9 th storey with a balcony and pool,gym and other facilities are somethings both of us are excited about, not to forget the tag which comes on it, is way lesser than our present one which has none of the above mentioned except for a sweet balcony that I'm insanely in love with!
Well it's time to say goodbye to my beloved balcony and it's time to move on.Life does that to us.Nothing is static...however much we want it to be!I have bid farewells before - to the lovely terraces, to the gardens, to the backyards, to the chikkoo tree we climbed on, to the ever smiling neighbour 'aunties' whom i have pestered and to the houses themselves! So this should 'nt be too hard...given that we stayed here for hardly seven months.But I know I shall be bidding sorrowful farewells to my balcony (ofcourse!) and the Namdhari right opposite our lane, Spar, Maxx, Lifestyle, pizza hut, dominos, baskin robbins, kwality walls, and what not and more! :D
I guess my hubby might have to pull me away manually (like how my mother used to,everyday when we reached my creche!)the last day but I am sure, I shall cope with the pain of parting,eventually! :D

Vish has promised to take me to see our new place today when he comes back from work.As excited as I am to explore our new nest-to-be,and decide how I'm going to decorate our new home, I cant help but wildly imagine myself kicking and physically resisting the shift and also that my hubby might have to 'pack' me into a box as well if I am that un-manageable!

Ridiculing my funny imaginations, I go back to packing stuff in boxes for the time being.